So I Got Pulled Over…

And got a speeding ticket for going 47 in a 35mph zone. Guilty as charged. I take my lumps, pay the ticket, and opt to take Traffic School to keep the points off my license so my insurance rate don’t go up. I find a course I can take online, which is pretty sweet compared to the last time I went through this process way back in 1998.  You remember, back when you had to sit in some dilapidated hotel meeting room for 5 hours with people who haven’t showered for days and listen to a guy attempt to justify the class being marketed as a “Comedy” Driving School course. Trust me, if those were jokes, I’m George F’n Carlin.

I digress… I’m running through the chapters one by one. Each is 25 minutes long, with a little countdown timer on the screen. I’m finding it really hard to actually *read* the material. My web reading habits are so scattered, I don’t think I actually really read anything online anymore – I skim it. If I find something interesting I start reading until it loses my interest, then I go back to skimming. At the bottom of every section are three questions that you must answer correctly to advance. I quickly skim the first article, drop to the bottom of the page, answer all the questions using basic common sense and click next, then wait out the time to start the next section while catching up on Celebrity Rehab.

Not so. The program pops up Yes or No questions while you wait (Doh!). Questions like “Is your name James?” and “Is your license number XXXX-XXXX?” and “Do you live on Such and Such Street?“. Questions that are an obvious YES or NO, and if you don’t answer them quickly – the countdown restarts. Five hours of this. The whole web at my fingertips… TV, DVD’s, video games… all impossible while waiting for this timer to count down. Easily the most torturous online experience of my life, second only to the great AOL busy-tone epidemic of 1994.

Next time, I’m taking the points.

About James

This is James' biography.
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2 Responses to So I Got Pulled Over…

  1. Dave says:

    Wow, that’s really gay. Thanks, Florida DoT!

  2. Tower says:

    Ouch. I had to go back to Driver’s Ed. one time almost ten years ago, and that was pretty much how you described it. Smelly people, and two rules for passing the course-you couldn’t fall asleep, and you couldn’t leave early. Ugh.

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