Get it? Hits the web.

Err, Twitch has the goods…

Jaa is directing this one, its got action, probably ridiculously cheesy but fun - like the last. Please Mr. Jaa, don’t come to America to make films. They will ruin you like they did Jackie Chan and Jet Lee. (Can you tell I recently saw Shanghai Noon?) Link.

This video of Chewbacca in a Star Wars Weekends dance-off with a twiggy-armed jawa at Disney’s Hollywood Studios is both hilarious, and embarrassing. Hilarious because it really happened, embarrassing because it will continue to happen every weekend until June 29th.

Unrelated: I’ve only watched someone play Assassin’s Creed for a few moments and I still find this video hilarious. Mega 64 = the Tom Green circa ‘96 of the Internet.

Sure, you could read this exhaustive 178 paragraph - 1,565 line - 21,890 word - 101,059 character (w/out spaces) explanation as to what exactly was going through David Chase’s mind when he decided to end the most popular premium-cable TV show with… well, nothing.  Or you you could let Microsoft Word’s “autosummary” feature do the heavy lifting for you!

Summary

Tony is dead. A: Tony walks into Holsten’s.

Tony is dead.

Tony isn’t exactly paranoid:

Tony and Carmela have a critical conversation that foreshadows Tony’s death. During Tony’s “coma trip”, Tony Blundetto/“Man” told Tony that “You’re Going Home”. Tony’s “Journey” is over. Tony is clearly scared.

Tony replies “than life”.

Just like Tony Soprano.

Kind of reads like a severely malformed Hiaku, no? But seriously, if you have an hour (or ten) to snuggle up with Random Internet Person’s good o’le fashioned impeccably-researched theories on POV shots, it’s worth the time. I’m convinced. Link.

On a side note, I guess the Sopranos movie, if it ever happens, will not be a continuing of the Tony story, timeline-wise. I’m good with that.

Or something. Somebody collected the IMDB’s top 50 user-rated films per year and compared them by length. The result:

10s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 79 minutes
20s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 98 minutes
30s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 96 minutes
40s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 109 minutes
50s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 114 minutes
60s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 127 minutes
70s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 125 minutes
80s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 129 minutes
90s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 127 minutes
00s ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ 129 minutes

So as time goes on, longer movies are the most popular (in general). Interesting. Link. [via]

Thin you know how many 13th’s occurred on a Friday? How many times Freddy died? How many Dogs played Soccer with evil Leprochauns whilst Scanning some Corn Children in Amityville? Go here, test your knowledge, try to beat my score. It won’t be too hard, trust me (omg Hellraiser for 1/10). Darn dirty Apes!

On a side note, here is where I would tell you, dear reader, that I am returning to regular posting. I won’t, however, because you probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. Natch. Link. [via]

AICN has an exclusive look at the 1940’s picture of The Minutemen from Zack Snyder’s upcoming Watchmen adaptation. They definitely have the look down, especially The Comedian’s old “jester” look. Click the poster for a larger version!

Sorry for the lack of updates everyone. I just spent a week with a stomach bug. The keep-a-bucket-near-the-bed kind, yuck. Even spent my b-day in bed. Now, I’m back up at work today and will be updating shortly!

ComingSoon.net/Superhero Hype! have snagged the first look of Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Heavy Duty in next summer’s G.I. Joe! Click the pic for the larger version:

I’m really excited for this flick, but what’s up with all the black? YO EMO JOE!

***UPDATE

Apparently a bunch of sites around the web are also getting an exclusive character shot each. Click on each pic to embiggen!

CHUD has Marlon Wayans as Ripcord:

MTV has Channing Tatum as Duke:

DarkHorizons has Saïd Taghmaoui as Breaker:

Collider has Dennis Quaid as General Hawk:

IESB has Chris Eccleston as an unmasked (BOO!) Destro and Sienna Miller as Baroness:

Finally, Latino Review has Byung-hun Lee as a (YAY!) masked Storm Shadow:

Okay, this hit my email last night, but has already apparently been posted all over the Internet during the same time. This is spoiler-heavy territory so you’re going to have to click the poster to see it:

Thanks Rory’s Messenger!

Click here.   My favorite part?  The use of scrap metal as “brass knuckles”, like in the Hulk: Ultimate Destruction game from a few years ago.